Tonight I told myself that I was going to go to bed before 10pm and well, that is not going to happen. Mainly because it is nearly 11pm and I am still sitting on my couch! But I have been thinking... That is how I am. I tell myself I am going to do something, I make 'to do' lists and then at the end of the day I find that I have done nothing productive. ugh. ugh. ugh.
This is what has been on my heart:
I quit my jobs a few months ago to focus on what the Lord had been pulling at my heart to do. He had revealed that I was not living a life for Him. I had become someone I never thought possible. I was not doing bad things or even what society would consider a bad person, but speaking of society, I had become OF it. I had become quite materialistic and a workaholic if you will. I gave it up to Him and I said I would quite my job, become part of the Body again and get my priorities straight. I thought that quitting my jobs were the hardest things I would have to encounter. This life we live is a very hard one I have come to realize. And it can seem quite lonely too! I have realized that of coarse, you give it all to God and He will show you the path, but the road can be quite bumpy and long and hard and dark sometimes.
Unfortunately, I have let go of my end of the bargain in a way...I have not been the person I said I would be if He allowed me to quit my jobs. He has been more than sufficient in meeting my needs in more ways that I can explain, but I find myself, at the end of the day thinking, WHAT DID I DO TODAY? I have fallen away from him again and when that happens, the things that you think matter really don't.
So here's to diving in to the Lord, one minute at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time... trusting in HIM completely and giving Him my everything! *cheers*
1 comment:
I totally agree with the whole "here's to diving into the Lord, one minute at a time..."...such a process and a journey! Much love little one!
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