Good byes

I have never really been that great with good byes. Everyone says that but its so true. I don't really believe in good byes. I wish good byes didn't even have to exist. I am not really sad, I don't cry, I don't think it makes sense in my body or mind that this is a good bye. Or even how to react to a good bye. I moved away from my family and friends and said good bye and I think I cried the first time but after that it wasn't "sad" to me. In my mind they are always "see you later" because eventually I assume I will see you again. And leaving France was no different. Between the house sitting that I was doing the week before I left, packing up and moving my stuff to different friends apartments to be stored and cleaning out my apartment I somehow squeezed in a good bye party. It was so strange. It felt like just another "picnic" at the Champs de Mars. But deep down I knew this picnic was not like the others.

I have had a great last two years. Don't let anything I've written on here convince you otherwise. I think the crappy situations and hard times are what make for good writing and this has been a constant source for letting me be frustrated without causing drama, but my experience in France has been to be remember. Not because it was the last two years of my life, but because it was the most amazing two years of my life. These last two years top any 5 minutes of the previous 22 years of my life. Yes, I did just say that. And I'm not kidding. And so, to have to actually come to reality that this picnic was the last time I might see some of the most amazing people who have helped make the last two years the most amazing times of my life was ridiculously hard. It was awkward. I didn't know what to say or how to act or what to do. I really really hated the good byes.

So here is my amazing good bye party... one last hoorah in the city of light. with the Madame tour Eiffel.

And then to make the night even more sad, ha, Jordan and I went up to my empty apartment for the last time to give it a proper good bye. This good bye was sadly one of the hardest ones, haha. It was where I had spent so many hours and where I had created a home after not having a job for nearly four months. It was where I cooked many meals and had parties and sleep overs.

And then I took one last look out my window at the Eiffel Tower. It was the last time I would see the Eiffel Tower as a resident of the most amazing city in the world.
(now cry a river why don't ya.... its sad stuff here)

As I sit and write this from my huge bedroom inside my parents ridiculously huge house (in my opinion, compared to what I have been accustomed to for the past two years) I miss that place like crazy. I have been home for nearly two months now and its not the same. Life won't be the same again. Mostly because I am a changed person. A lot because the world has changed around me as well. Paris will forever hold the dearest of places in my heart and no matter where the next chapter in my life takes me, Paris will not loose its place. I know it was time that I move on and change the pace a bit and while I am eager and excited for what is to come, I am happy to look back at all the memories I now carry with me.

Thank you to ALL who made my life in France what it was. You are and will always be very dear to me! Je vous aime!