my last two weeks as a nanny in Paris

I wish I had taken the time to write down all my thoughts and what all happened because the following two weeks are now the biggest blur of events and emotions and I am struggling to put it all into words. I had 2 weeks to pack up my belongings and say good bye to everyone all while keeping up with the pace of life I had chosen to have: babysitting on top of my nanny job, house/dog sitting, and trying to find a place to store my things that I could not take back with me. How I managed to make it out of those two weeks alive and kicking, I'll never know. But looking back, the last two years, if nothing more, have taught me how tough of a person I really am. That I don't need people to help me. Of course its great to know I do have so many wonderful people in my life that I can depend on, but its also a very liberating feeling to know that I can do much myself. 

And so it began. My final two weeks in Paris. 

I kind of knew this was coming a while before. When everyone would ask me what my plans were for the summer I'd tell them I had plane tickets back to the US for about 2 months. They'd say, "well, you're coming back aren't ya?" And I really never felt like I could honestly say, "YES". I always answered with, "well, I have a return ticket but I guess we won't know until I board that flight" and that was truly how I felt. I had really been struggling deep down about returning to France but the inner battle was this: I LOVE France, this is where my friends are, the friends that have become my family. Paris is the most incredible city in the world, how could I ever leave this place? vs. I really feel like its right to move back. There is so much more opportunity for me back in the US, i have an amazing support system, I have the opportunity to get a real job. BUT how could I ever leave this amazing place? BUT how in the world am I going to stay here? ....this was what I thought about all the time. 

The last few weeks I was in Paris were crazy. There was a family in my building that the family I worked for has introduced me to who needed some help with their children for a week while they were in Paris on vacation and I ended up working over 40 hours for them (on top of my nanny job). The week prior I had been incredibly ill (I think I wrote a blog post about my exciting visit to the french doctor) and my last week in Paris was spent house/dog sitting for some friends who were on vacation in the US so I was between apartments. All while working. 

And when I decided to leave Paris for good I knew I had such a small window of opportunity to tell all my close friends. That was the hardest. But everyone was so supportive. 

I really wanted to have a little goodbye party but before I could announce something like that via facebook or by word of mouth I really felt I needed to let all my close friends know that I wasn't come back, in person. That was the hardest thing to do. Not because I couldn't tell them but because everyone was so busy. And I was so busy. But eventually I got to speak to everyone I knew needed to hear it from me and it was on to party planning. Not surprisingly, most of my friends weren't surprised at the news. They were sad but not surprised. Thats the thing with living in Paris and having such international friends... you never know when anyone might leave. And for me, it came with two weeks notice.