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The backstory to all of this is that I'd been struggling for a while about coming back in the fall. I have always felt that the reason I was in Paris was because I felt that was where God has been calling me to be. Everything always happened in such perfect timing and in such perfect ways, even if I didn't view it that way immediately, that I knew it was always just right. And I always said I wanted to be there "a jamais" forever and the French government would have to kick me out of the country before I'd voluntarily leave. But with so many unknowns, there was no way of knowing how long "forever in Paris" would last. I knew I didn't want to be a nanny forever and I knew it wasn't really a possibility based on the visa I was on and the amount of money I had in my bank account. This past year has been a real rough one, if any of you have regularly read my blog you would have read about it. It's been a year of rough jobs, unemployment, cold winter, the unknown and lots of moves. When i got this job in February and started in March I thought I had the perfect job. It was a family that two of my good friends had previously worked for so I knew they couldn't be that bad and I knew the apartment was a great apartment and the pay wasn't half bad and the hours were pretty fair. But when I started this job I realized that things had changed. My heart had changed, my direction had changed, my mind had changed, my interests had changed. Everything had changed. I wanted to blame the family but the more I allowed myself to look inward, I realized that everything was leaning towards a change in my life. God had changed the course of direction and I needed to change to be on the same page. But i struggled heavily with the fact that I had given my word to this family to come back to nanny for them in the fall. I am, or I try my hardest to be, a woman of my word. It stressed me out to think about "quitting" the job, even if it was to go back to the States to get a real job and start a career. I, also, at this point was struggling with the fact that my visa had run out and I was now in the country without a legal status. That mixed with the fact that I could not come up with a way to get another visa for the fall and you have all the signs pointing the opposite direction. I so badly wanted to stay in Paris with every fiber  of my being and yet I couldn't find a single way. I didn't realize I was so stubborn until recently when I have come to notice that I will not give up until I have exhausted all my options. I banged on every door possible to stay in Paris and when none of them opened I started to look else where to see where my life could be headed now. I then started to job search in the states. I started to get my resume together and practiced writing cover letter. I started researching what jobs I qualified for and what jobs I was interested in. And I started to get excited about the opportunities in front of me.