you know that...

...when i stop posting so frequently that things are going well!!! Hallelujah!!!
That doesn't mean things aren't still crazy and hectic and that I'm up to some crazy shinanigans, it just means that I don't feel the need to tell every waking detail of my life on this blog at all times. That is a praise!!!

So this week has been ridiculously busy and I am so thankful for that! I am working on seeing the glass half-full all the time instead of empty as even when things are going well, I can still seem to find the negatives in situations. My host family is still going great... I've had my days where I felt like I wanted to leave and I wanted to find a new family because it was exhausting to be here emotionally but I'm getting past that. My family really is great and they have been so great to me and I need to work at being even more flexible and not so high strung about dumb stuff like asking favors or not always knowing whats going on. I'm starting to think that if y'all were to be around me and see me now you would not recognize the person I am. I am a lot more laid back and things really don't bother me as much anymore. I mean, I would like to think that I was a relatively laid back person except when i wasn't and that I didn't get upset too easily but now, when things go completely wrong, i find it humorous. haha.
Take for example, yesterday I went into Paris to go to what my church calls "Connect groups" which is a bi monthly Bible study at someone's house. My google maps mixed with my lack of good directions on the piece of paper I had put me in the completely wrong direction....FOR AN HOUR! I was an hour late to this Bible study all because the city is too darn big and when you exit a Metro station there are usually multiple streets you can exit onto... it makes for confusing times trying to find your way. I honestly thought it was funny that I was lost, of coarse I'd be lost. I ended up walking past 2 other metros before I thought to call someone because clearly they would not tell me to exit one metro stop if i was going ot have to walk so far i'd pass a few others. Come to find out I had walked in the completely opposite direction from what I needed to be going. Sweet! Eventually I found my way and I had a great time meeting new people and reading the Bible, etc.

So that brings me to my week:

Monday I had a doctors appointment in the south of Paris. It took forever to get to, was a very awkward 90 minutes and afterwards I was very thankful it was over and now I am legal to stay here...for a few more months at least! Adventure nonetheless!!!

I am about to go into Paris today which means I will have been in Paris four times this week (every single day this week to be exact) and I am planning on going Fri, Sat and Sunday! On Tuesday I went into Paris (on my own dime, yes, it costs almost 8 euros round trip) to meet up with a new friend. I figured if I pay myself to go once a week to meet up with people either during the day or for dinner then its totally worth it to me. Relationships are really important and I can't leave the weekends just for trying to make better friends. There just aren't enough weekends! So I met up with this girl and had a blast! She is from Paris so she knows the city like the back of her hand and it was fun talking to someone new and learning about them and it didn't hurt that the views of the city weren't so bad either! She showed me some places to go shopping on the cheap as I desperately need to find out how to show on the cheap and really just enjoyed myself.
Yestesterday the kids had off school and so I was around to help my host mom in any way she needed. I took the kids to la biblioteque and we stopped at Tabac (the corner store) and got  a sports paper for my host father and then headed home to .... DRAW. I think if i am asked one more time to draw les fleures or la coeur i might fall over dead! my little girl is a bit obsessed with coloring these days which is great because its something I can watch her do but not have to participate and get dirty whereas Play-do requires lots of effort, haha, but she just loves for me to draw FOR her while she literally sits on top of me (almost to the point where i can't draw since she sits on my right side) and watches me. The girl is so mesmorized with me drawing that she will sit and watch me do it for close to an hour if my picture is that interesting. THank you mom for drawing us cool stuff as kids that I remember thinking was da bomb and now I am doing that with Clemence. Its a funny cycle I tell you. She thinks everything I draw is pour moi (pointing to herself).."for me" she says! And she just loves when I draw her name in bubble letters.

Last night I wanted to go to this Bible study I mentioned earlier called "Connect groups" and I had been worrying about it all week wondering how I was going to manage to go this week and every other time for that matter. The group doesn't gather until 7:45pm and its about an hours trip for me to come back and its a week night which means if my host parents need to come pick me up than I can't stay out very late (9pm is getting late for them) and all this stuff. I talked to another au pair in my town and she had mentioned how she was going to ride her bike to the train station and then ride it back at night so she could be responsible for herself. I had contemplated riding my bike to the train station but hadn't gotten enough courage to actually do it...until she said she was going to do it and then something lit up inside of me and said, if she can do it, so can you! So last night I mustered enough courage to grab my host mom's bike and ride the few miles to the train station. The weather was chilly which was perfect since once I arrived I was sweating because I am that out of shape. It took about 30 minutes to get there, not a big deal, about the same amount of time it takes to get there on the bus. I really felt proud of myself to doing it, for going out of my comfort zone and taking control of the situation. I was able to make it to my appointment last night and thuroughly enjoyed myself without always looking at the clock thinking i need to leave soon to make it back to the train station at a decent hour.

I am learning that I really need to be humbled... and by that I don't mean I am trying to be humble. I don't think you are actually humble if you can say that you are... but the Lord is humbling me daily. It's quite the experince, let me tell you. I went from in the States having a life, friends, a church, a bank account, a cell phone, never having to worry about money or where it was going to come from, having a rockin car,  a solid and amazing family, etc...to France where I was stripped of it all. I've had to wait on God's timing for a lot of things and because of that I've not only learned to trust him more but to have faith that he's going to continue to provide for me. To go from having a brand new car that was my own to having no mode of transportation was a bit rough, I'm not going to lie. It's been humbling to have to ask for rides and help all the time. Not something my American pride would've let me do, not very often at least. But I had to leave a lot of my American traits at the airport along with my American pride. And it's been a blessing, sometimes a disguised one, but a blessing nonetheless, to be 23 and learning some major life lessons that I'm not sure I would've ever learned had I not been given this opportunity or this life!

I am learning to be more patient with my host family. Sometimes they drive me crazy because they forget that I'm around...I don't mind helping with laundry or dinner or ironing or going to the bakery to get a baguette. Thats what I am here for, right? The other day my host mom had to go into work early and so she had my host dad stay home and wake up the kids and get them ready for school when he normally goes to work early also and I talked to my host mom about that and I said, you know, when your schedule changes, earlier in the mroning or later in the evening, let me know, thats what I am here to do. I can get the kids ready for school or prepare lunch or dinner for them after school. And she said to me, "Oh, well, i didn't think you'd want to"....HELLO?!?!?! I am getting paid and getting free food and room to do what exactly then? I am still trying to figure out if she doesn't trust me just yet or doesn't want to give me too much responsibilty too fast but whatever it is, I am an experienced nanny and experienced with kids and I think i am adjusted and settled! I hope she understands that I am here to do things such as that and to help her around the house and takes me up on my offer some time soon... but in the mean time, I am learning to be patient and love them as they are.

I am beyond blessed to be here and the Lord shows me that each and every day when he teaches me new lessons or provides for me or keeps me safe and out of harms way. I am still a work in process as I know I will never be fully Christ-like, but I am striving day by day to seek after His heart and what he wants for my life. And in the mean time, I'm having quite a bit of fun!!!!

Love you and miss you all so very much!!!

Oh and G&G: I know you read this and I told you I'd call you Monday I think and I totally forgot and went to bed around 10pm my time so I hope you don't hate me and I will call you soon, I promise!!!

and if anyone else has an iphone or blackberry, let me know so we can chat whenever! I love my cousin Sarah who has been sending me videos of my baby, daily! It makes my heart go pitter patter!!! :-)

Now I am off to go shower quickly and head out to Paris for the day. My host mom does not need me to pick up the kids from school today so she suggessted I go spend the day in Paris with friends! Thankfully this time around I have friends to hang out with and I am very excited to spend another day exploring in the company of some great people!!! Bonne journee! (have a good day!)

love, me