Dear Life,

Please clean up your act and start being nice or I'm going to have to put you in timeout!

Love, Kara

PS. a few more hours in the day would be quite lovely! 

AGH!

So this is my life recently:

I have been stressing hardcore about what my summer plans were going to be. It was MAY for goodness' sake and I had no clue what I was going to be doing. I feel a little different from the average college student stressing about their summer because first, this has never happened to me. I have never had a summer to choose my plans! and 2. I didn't want to waste my one and only summer doing nothing...because they would ultimately drive me craaaazy.

So about 2 weeks ago I was looking around the internet as I do to waste time and I came across an email from a place called Make Studio in Dallas that i have been on their email list for nearly three years now and rarely look at their emails. Well, i decided to do so for some odd reason and that lead me to their website and after looking around for a while I was like, hey, that would be a cool place to intern, i'll just email them and see if they're looking for interns. (My thought was, ok, i'll do this too but most likely won't hear back and if i do it'll be a kind rejection letter because its MAY and everyone has already hired their interns for the summer). Well, the lady emailed me back pretty quickly and said they were still looking for an intern and to send her my resume. So, i actually waited three days before i finally decided I would send her my resume. I really had to think about it, I mean, while I have been stressing about something to do, I have had a feeling that God has been wanting me in Dallas and really, I just want to take a break from this place. So I hesitantly send her my resume and within 2 hours of sending it she had called me to set up an appointment to meet with her to interview for this position. Seriously?!?!?!?!?!?! I must've sent out 25-30 resume's at the beginning of the semester to every place under the sun and NOW, in MAY, I am applying for a job and possibly getting it? 

So anyways, the day comes to when my interview is with this place and I actually contemplated not going.... I just really do not want to be in Dallas. When sending out my millions of resumes at the beginning of the semester, I purposely did not send any resumes in the city of Dallas. ha. So i go finally decide, what the heck, maybe this possibly where God might want me and who I am to change the plans God has for my life? The interview goes well, and she offers me the internship on the spot. And it actually seems like a really great internship...I would basically be doing PR and marketing for a fashion show called PinShow that she and her business partner put on every September showcasing Dallas designers (local designers). It's everything that sounds fun but nothing I know anything about and would be awesome to learn. 

So here's the deal: I know God has such an awesome plan for my life that nothing I could think up or wish for would be better than what He has in store for me. I know I can't see the big picture which is why things often don't make sense at the time, but its all God's perfect plan! But, even though I am not a person who has a need to be in control, I find it hard to just give it to Him. I WANT to leave Dallas!!! But God wants me HERE! But i'm still fighting that...even though I KNOW that whatever He has for my life is 10 times better than anything I could ever want or think is what I should be doing instead of His plan. WHY?

So I've been praying, and consulting the wise people in my life, and hoping that all the pieces fall into place. I still have not formally accepted the position of the internship. I need for it to count as my internship for my major otherwise taking an unpaid internship just isn't economically practical as I will most likely have to get another job on the side which means I will never have a day off, AGAIN! ha. But things are slowly falling into place...I'll have a place to live (where I am now), I still need to get everything squared away with school, I still need another part time job. But i'm praying that if this is what God wants for my life, that He will show me the doors that are opened and lead me away from the closed doors. That He will give me the strength to get through this summer with a cheerful heart and that He will teach me what He wants me to learn through everything I do this summer. I pray mostly that He will change my heart that I will want what He wants for me. 

But this doesn't come without many trials and many questions and many times of prayer! 

Oh, and I found out some bad news within my family so if there is anyone who reads this, I would appreciate some prayers for my family! 

So cheers to learning the lessons God wants me to learn, listening, obeying, and loving Him!

PS-I had the best dinner ever! mmmm tilapia (my new specialty), green beans, and plain pasta.

Pretty darn good and not too shabby on the healthy side either. 

G'night!