No bueno

Today I got my first bit of bad news in a long time. To be honest, I am very blessed that this is the only bad news i have gotten in a long time because its not that bad, its just a frustration and sends me to the world of the unknown. My job for the summer fell through and I found out this morning. I understand why and its going to work out better in the end for the other guy that he not hire me (or so I need to believe) but I can't help but feel scared now. I am about to move to France in a matter of months and I need to have some money in order to do that. I need to buy an 800 dollar plane ticket in the next week, and where am I going to get the money to do that? I am asking the stupid questions, knowing full well that I am in God's control and His hands and he will take care of me because he is the one who has given me this vision and love and desire to pick up and leave everything and everyone I know and move to a foreign country where I don't speak the language or know but a few souls. But i'm still a little scared.

I am going back to the drawing board and am going to need to spend some time in prayer just trying to figure out what all the next few months have in store for me. Just saying where my heart and my head are at...

Oh, and ps. I am actually ready for Hong Kong now! woo hoo! For the last few weeks I have been dreading the thought of going to Hong Kong for three weeks! But after yesterdays meeting and the day before it, i feel like I am ready and excited again! phew! I was worried I would hate that experience because of my lack of enthusiasm towards it. But i think my mom was right, I was just tired of traveling and need to reenergize before I could focus on another trip.

Ok, now i'm off to buy food for the fridge so I don't feel the temptation to go to Chipotle (my current obsession) again.

Here's to trusting, not needing to understand, and living a day at a time!!!! CHEEERS!

letters

Favorite song of the moment: "You and me go fishing in the dark" by the Nitty Gritty Band ----> aaaaaaamazing. (youtube it.)

Can't wait to move! Dear August 17, please don't take too long to arrive. I might pee my pants waiting. ps. I am not very patient.

Kindly, me

Dear small town drivers,

There is a speed limit on the highway you are choosing to get onto today. It is 60 mph, not the 40mph you think is a great speed to enter the onramp going. I do not mind slowing down for you, but I do not like slamming on my breaks only to find out that you have not discovered the gas pedal accelerates your car. I would appreciate it if you do not like to drive the alloted speed limit that you would mind staying off the highway and maybe choose to ride your bike next time. That might be a more appropriate mode of transportation. that's all, me

Dear school,

You take up too much time and do not leave enough time for the fun things in life like shopping, traveling, eating, etc. Thankfully, after June, I am not long obliged to attend anymore and will thankfully and gratefully take my diploma and leave.

Gratefull, me

So I read a blog yesterday about a girl who left all the comforts of America to go be an Au pair in France and ended up having a horrible experience and I have read many blogs and even a few books about this same exact story: bad families, bad children, bad experiences, bad everything. People have warned me to make sure I have all my I's dotted and my T's crossed so that I can hopefully prevent myself from getting in a bad situation, and hopefully I am able to enjoy my experiences, but I have been thinking recently and I am not worried because honestly, I have had some awful experiences and rude children and bad families. I am a nanny right now, the only difference between what I am doing now and what I am going to be doing in France in just a few months is 1. I don't live with my family and 2. I didn't travel from another country to work for my family. (I think those are the differences...) I am a little nervous to go live in someone's house that I've only met once (which is more than a lot of Au pair's can say about their host family), to be in charge of kids who don't speak a lick of English, and to be in a country where I don't speak the language or know the culture. But, the fear of having a bad family or bad kids is honestly not one of my worries right now. Obviously I am hoping that I am blessed with a great family who treats me well and takes me in as if I were one of their own, but I am sure that is not the case more than it is. But to be honest, if I were to have been blogging about my experiences as a nanny for the past two years, I think some of my stories would mirror some of those from Au Pair's who have had a rough time. Sometimes I wonder why I didn't blog about my experiences, it might've helped my sanity level when I wanted to pull my hair out and put tape over the kids mouths. Now looking back on all I have gone through with children, all the situations that have happened, I am so ready to take this challenge head on. So in wanting to give you a little insight into some of the things the girls have said or done to me, here is a short list I have compiled (and mind you, these are just the ones I can remember)

-"You are paid to do MY homework. If you don't, I will have Mommy fire you."

-when told to pick up after herself, "You're my maid"

-"$H!t!"when she realized she left her spelling list at school --that was an 8 yr old.

-the girls walking around butt naked in the kitchen

-passing [very smelly] gas in the car..ALL the time (for funsies)

-sex and puberty talks with 11 yr olds...and not the informative type, the please stop talking about it because you are being very inappropriate type

-they put stickers all over my brand new car

-have called their mom to yell at me when I have tried to punish them for bad or rude behavior

-play hide and go seek and then one girl tells me the other girl is missing...for half an hour!

Now I am pretty sure that writing these down don't do any of the actual experiences justice. But after two years of being with these girls and finally figuring them out and learning to be patient and kind with them, even when nothing in their attitude or body language deserves either of those characteristics, we come to love one another and trust each other. I feel that though, a 4 yr old and a 6 yr old can not be as hard as watching 3 pre teens going through puberty and hitting middle school. But what do I know?

I have, however, been more worried about the things about America and Texas that I am going to miss more than I am worried about the family and the children. haha.

Guacamole (although I was reminded that I can make that anywhere)